With one look... I've returned at last

So I know its been a while (a long while in fact) however I think its time to post again and hope that this time I don't screw my life up again.

I sit here and reflect on everything that has happened since my last post and... well there has been a lot. In 2 days I turn 30 and you know what looking back on those 30 years all and all, I have had a good life. Ups and down yes but you know, doesn't everyone?. its been one hell of a rollercoaster and quite frankly I don't want to step off. Without these experiences in my life I wouldn't be who I am today and I LIKE who I am. I will continue to put people I love before me, however I believe I have grown a lot and I am now at a point where I will continue to choose what is best for me..... at times.

2013 is going to be an exciting year for me. I am working for an amazing organisation where I have been given an opportunity to work as part of a global project, I get to see my family for the 1st time in nearly 2.5 years. But most of all I will finally become Mrs Booth.

I have missed blogging and have made a promise to keep it up again. So please if you are still out there, watch this space.

Happy New year to you all xxx

Claire

"I'm not fat I'm big boned" part 2 or 3 or 4

So its true what Michelle from curves has told me Yes i am a seriel faller offer when it comes to weight loss and mgt. However after much soul searching I came to a conclusion 1. I wasnt in the right frame of mind for it and 2. i was bored of curves and needed a change. SOOOOoooo thats what I did. I quite curves in July and at the time i was back up to 82kgs :/ so not a great place to be after a year of "falling of the ladder and climbing back up again".

What am I doing now you ask me?? well since then I've basically started walking around 10k a day (weather/exhaustion permitting) AND i have picked up Theater Jazz for beginners at the Sydney Dance Company in The Rocks this seriously I love. Not only am I learning how to dance for Broadway shows which will come in handy for AMS but its so much fun AND its a great work out. I am loving it. So far we have done a routine for "Burlesque - Burlesque", "Push da Button - A Color Purple", "Footloose - Footloose" (my fave so far) , "lullabye on Broadway - 42nd St." and "Icarumba (sp?) - Show Boat". The last one is my least favourite so far, i was having the worst week and couldnt get anything right in the technique part of the class (turns, gallops leaps etc) then the instructor through that on us.. I found it hard to call it a beginners routine, it was quick and difficult, to top it all off i ended up not finishing the class cause i went and hurt my ankle. Next week he promises something from "thourilly (sp?) modern millie" so im seriously looking forward to that. hopefully my ankle will be better.

The other thing im doing is counting WW points again. im not going to class just doing it all myself at home with my calculator and a spreadsheet i created. As for weightloss after 6 weeks im down to 78.2kgs.. and have set myself a goal of 75kgs for when Pirates opens in November and 72kgs by christmas. Anything more will be a bonus.

Claire

A singing frollicking band of daughters We

Ok so you might think "What the Hell is she on about" its quite simple. As you all know I joined Ashfield Musical Society earlier on in the year. Which was seriously the best decision i have done in a long time. Back to the 80's was a success and I had so much fun. So I decided to keep on doing it. Our next show is "Pirates of Penzance" and I have been chosen as a Daughter of the Major General Stanley (hurrah for the major general). Which means I have to frollick :/ eek!!! This means that i have to dance gracefully and prance about the stage, graceful like a swan, unfortunately for me im about as graceful as a charging bull so this will be an interesting process for me.

Oh and it gets better, the one and only Matty J has joined the chorus as a pirate arr!!!.  Not only am I having a great time in rehearsals but he is seriously enjoying it. hes got this natural energy that I seriously wish I had sometimes. I remember being like that when i was younger but alas I guess ive gone to conservitive in my old age (would like to point out the matt is actually older then me). hum i just realised how negitive ive been sounding about myself, lol best stop that straight away.

On a good note now that Ive done a show already I am more confident in singing out (also helps being separated into proper vocal groups) and my audition this time around wasnt a failure. there are still many things I need to learn, Like keep more eye contact, act out while singing and keep my hands out of my pocket. hopefully next time ill get that right and be asked to do a reading for a part. still praying on chicago which is an Alto show. YAY!!! pirates unfortunally is a soprano show with the only alto being a 47 year old woman. Still i auditioned for that part knowing full well i hadnt a hope in hell is going anywhere with it. most of the chorus songs are quite hard for me with the notes we hit but the more we are singing them the easier its getting so its 100% a positive thing for my range.

once again ive been making baked goodies for the show and my cupcakes where a success.

More updates of Pirates to come :D

claire

Are you there Immi? Its me Claire (Part 4)

So tomorrow is September and the 17th of sept will equal a year since the visa application went into Immigration. Its been a long and stressful year and hopefully this will all come to an end shortly. HOPEFULLY!!!! my greatest fear is being declined and having to re apply all over again. The thoughts of having to wait up to another year is just frightfull espically after everything myself and Matty have been through. I contacted immi a week and a half ago and was told that finally we have a case officer. Huzzah!! usually once this happens its just a couple of weeks till we get an answer and my nerves are ratteling with so much anxiety. I spoke with the most lovely guy who I have to say has been the most helpful, polite and informative person I have had the pleasure of speaking too whenever I have called up. He said that seeing as I havent actually heard from my case officer that i should take it as "no news is good news" I hope he is correct.!!

Not sure if  I have mentioned before but the reason we fear the decline so much is that we havent fulfilled one of the main requirements. The you must have lived with each other for a year when applying for this visa. one that we missed out on by 4 months. however we did state in our Stat Decs that we moved in together so quickly because since we got together over a year before we applied we had actually spent every night together in one or the others apartments and that we were doing joint shopping for both. So im really hoping that seeing as its now been a year and nine months since moving in with each other they will give us the benefit of the doubt.

Every other requirement we have fullfilled and we have provided enough evidence that we are in a genuine and continueous relationship.

So please for the next few days/weeks if you can all keep your fingers crossed for us I would greatly appreciate it.

On a good note if it does come through its likely i have 2 jobs I can choose from to walk into.

Claire

"I've had the time of my life and I owe it all to you"

As you all know i joined Ashfield Musical Society in Feb, after an extremely disasterous audition, And i know I promised an update on the goings on of the rhershals and the lead up to the show. Unfortunately I havent been blogging the past few months for various reasons.

The June bank holiday weekend signafied the end of my trip "Back to the 80's" and what an adventure it has been. This seriously has been the most fun I have had in a long time. I seriously regret not emailing to join all those times i have thought about it over the past 2 years. because of that i missed out on being in "Chess" and "Spamalot" and those of you that know me well will know im a HUGE "Monty Python" fan. Ah well what is life without regrets.

"Back to the 80's" is an amazingly energetic show with the tackiest storyline EVER!!. you know your typical American highschool story. Boys has crush on next door neighbour, she has a crush and starts dating the school top jock (you know the coolest, hottest guy in school). The jocks pick on the new girl in school by sending false love letters, teachers who are dating having a rough patch, cause well he discovers a photo of her as a centerfold of a "mens" swimsuit magazine from a decade before and then there was the nerds. The  songs are all hits from the 80's that I have to admit amazingly fitted in with the story. egs were "kids in America" well cause we were "Kids in America", "Hey mickey" the cheerleaders perform this for the school elections, "Michael" was the name of the cool guy", "Centerfold" ala the swimsuit magazine. The musical even got rickrolled. I mean seriously how cool IS that. There are also a number of songs I could do without ever hearing again "we are the world" being one of them

Rhershals were more then fun. The first rhershals was the most daunting. Seeing as i didnt know anyone, it was almost like starting a new job or even the first day of school (except i didnt have THAT problem being a twin). Thankfully, Richard remembered me from the auditions so i had someone to talk to. That didnt stop me from chatting to other people.  The first few weeks of rhershals were mainly learning the songs. we would just sit in lines and follow the instrustions from the musical director David. I have to admit i showed my shy side here. Being a contralto(and a bit of a belter) i found sitting beside sopranos with amazing voices made me nervous to sing out. but also made it hard to get the harmonies right. It wasnt till midway through i lost that nerve.

The dancing came next(apart from one which we learned from day one that went one to be in "footloose" which i want in), i was quite rusty seeing as it had been 5/6 years since my hiphop classes back in Dublin. Energetic is deffinately a word i would use to describe these. Even though I hate the song "Love Shack" was my favourite of the dance routines.

Putting the Acts together was so much fun, it meant that I finally got to see scenes that the principles featured in. Hearing some of the jokes the first time round had me in stitches and tears on some occasions. Espically when "Mr Cocker" was calling out "beuller" and "kirk" responded that it was his day off. I think that was lost on some of the younger cast.

Show week was an exhausting week. We had "bump in" on the sunday with an 10 hour day of rhershals. As you can imagine it was the longest work day ive had in forever. :). we had full dress rhershals on the monday and Tuesday getting home about midnight. Wednesday was a night off, however i went to see the amazing miss Kylie that night. Then it was Thursday aka "opening night" eek. It was so exciting and I was so nervous. I managed not to screw up, apart from my boob issue. My dress for the second act nicely fell down a bit an exposed my boobs for the audience to see. Thankfully I wore my cardigan closed that night so im not sure if anyone seen anything. Thank god.  Friday night was the one i was the most anxious for seeing as i had 25 friends in the front 2 tables. It went without a hitch. ok well maybe one hitch. a second boob malfunction this time druing "get out of my dreams" but it was ok i was at the back of the stage and  managed to fix it. lets just say dress got pinned to bra from that night onwards and no more boob action insued. woo!!! saturday was exhausting with 2 shows but it flew by and then it was sunday and it was over :(

We had a great buffet dinner afterwards in the room next to the auditorium. It was great to just relax and chat away with everyone. But extremely sad that it was over. Everyone was signing each others programs. This time reminding me of getting my shirt signed by class mates at the end of school....

I had the greatest time and so much fun, I've lots of new friends including some great new friends ( you know who you are). So many amazing and talented people with different personalities who all in turn have one thing in common a love of musicals..

Thank you guys and galls, I've had the time of my life and i really do, owe it all to you xxxxxx

Heres to the next show. More laughs and tears and memories to have

Claire

"A reflection on a year gone by"

Its been a while since I've written a blog. I have personal reasons for not doing any since my last immi update. I've been on the biggest life rollercoaster these past 3-4 months. It has been a highly emotional time for me. I have been treated unfairly, been the focus of a number of nasty lies and rumours and have been judged accordingly. I have lost friends, one expected, others extremely unexpected and have caused me great pain.
I have kept myself at a distance to save myself any further hurt. Isolated myself from the outside world. One outcome of this is that I now know who I can trust and really call a friend. Unfortunally a second outcome of this is that im now finding it hard to trust anyone let alone open out to them and really be myself. I have started to feel really alone and dissappointed in everything. It truely has been the shittest end to worst year of my life.

Last friday marked the official 1 year mark since my life got turned upside down. Yup the day I lost my job. All in all it hasnt been that bad of a year. Yes, I havent worked a day since last june, Yes I still dont have a new visa.... yet!. Yes, we have lived in poverty, Yes my brother has had to leave Australia and I miss him dearly, Yes, the last few months have been crap. However, Ive had an amazing holiday, got engaged in Paris, spent Christmas with my parents and future in-laws. I had an amazing Birthday party, Bit the bullet and joined a musical society (more on that later), But most of all after a year, myself and Matt are still as strong as ever and still completely in love. Hopefully i'll have a new visa in the next 3 months and then we can move from our horrible apartment, plan our wedding and go on a much needed holiday.

Huge thanks to everyone for their support, friendship and love over the past year (even those who are no longer friends, you were a huge support to us before it all fell to pieces and we thank you for that). once everything is back to normal, we will be inviting all those (and i mean "all") who a supported us for a meal somewhere. xx

Claire

Are you there Immi? Its me Claire (Part 3)

So this morning I had one of those moments where I felt upset by the fact that it is now 7 months into my visa application and 10 months into being unemployed. After last weeks let down with GN wasting my time and thinking I was about to get a break work wise. I guess im feeling more let down by the system.

Now that its been the 7 months into the 7-9 month turnaround, everytime my hotmail lights up with a new email. I think this is it "this will be the email telling me I have my visa so I can start working again". Unfortunately that email hasnt arrived yet :(.

I decided to go back onto Australian Forum today. A site I havent visited in months because it kept getting me down. why you ask? imagin being told that every application is being treated the same and will be processed in the order they have been received. how would you feel reading about others who have had there visas granted within a week or 2/3/4/5 months when you have been waiting for what seem like forever. Its not nice hey? so you can understand why it gets me down. Anyways i went onto the forum today and noticed a number of people who applied around the same time as me finally getting their approval so i decided seeing as its been over a month since my last call to immigration and I had 50c in my purse that it was time to call for an update.

I was on hold for a less amount of time as i normally have so maybe calling later then i normally do i a good idea to note for future calls. Anyways i got through to Tara in the melbourne call center. Who I have to say was the most honest person I have spoken to todate. Once again my visa is currently being processed. No further documentation is required blah blah blah. She explained to me that with the recent changes in the requirement for skilled migration visas has resulted in a unbelieveable amount of new partner applications being received. Due to this the new current wait is 9 - 12 months, so yet another blow to my life at the moment. so this means that instead of i should be hearing in the next 2 months its gone back to 5. FML. I had a number of questions to ask her but unfortunately they go unanswered as i felt myself about to explode with tears so i chockingly said thank you and hung up.

After 10 months of being unemployed and the current 7 month wait and counting for my visa, its really starting to take its toll. The stress is building up in Matt and I fear he is going to end up in hospital again. I find myself unmotivated to do even the smallest of things. Money is tight and getting tighter as bills go up and it doesnt help with SDRO finding new fines that need to be paid. The fact that we can hardly socialise with our friends is really getting to the both of us. And when we do get a chance we end up spending more money then we can afford. We have no idea what we are going to do if the visa gets cancelled let alone how we will afford to re apply or move to a new country as we cant afford to save.

I feel now that each time I call up its going to be harder. as these past 2 times i have ended up in tears on the phone. But I will endevour to keep you all updated.

Claire