"I'm not fat I'm big boned" part 2 or 3 or 4

So its true what Michelle from curves has told me Yes i am a seriel faller offer when it comes to weight loss and mgt. However after much soul searching I came to a conclusion 1. I wasnt in the right frame of mind for it and 2. i was bored of curves and needed a change. SOOOOoooo thats what I did. I quite curves in July and at the time i was back up to 82kgs :/ so not a great place to be after a year of "falling of the ladder and climbing back up again".

What am I doing now you ask me?? well since then I've basically started walking around 10k a day (weather/exhaustion permitting) AND i have picked up Theater Jazz for beginners at the Sydney Dance Company in The Rocks this seriously I love. Not only am I learning how to dance for Broadway shows which will come in handy for AMS but its so much fun AND its a great work out. I am loving it. So far we have done a routine for "Burlesque - Burlesque", "Push da Button - A Color Purple", "Footloose - Footloose" (my fave so far) , "lullabye on Broadway - 42nd St." and "Icarumba (sp?) - Show Boat". The last one is my least favourite so far, i was having the worst week and couldnt get anything right in the technique part of the class (turns, gallops leaps etc) then the instructor through that on us.. I found it hard to call it a beginners routine, it was quick and difficult, to top it all off i ended up not finishing the class cause i went and hurt my ankle. Next week he promises something from "thourilly (sp?) modern millie" so im seriously looking forward to that. hopefully my ankle will be better.

The other thing im doing is counting WW points again. im not going to class just doing it all myself at home with my calculator and a spreadsheet i created. As for weightloss after 6 weeks im down to 78.2kgs.. and have set myself a goal of 75kgs for when Pirates opens in November and 72kgs by christmas. Anything more will be a bonus.

Claire

A singing frollicking band of daughters We

Ok so you might think "What the Hell is she on about" its quite simple. As you all know I joined Ashfield Musical Society earlier on in the year. Which was seriously the best decision i have done in a long time. Back to the 80's was a success and I had so much fun. So I decided to keep on doing it. Our next show is "Pirates of Penzance" and I have been chosen as a Daughter of the Major General Stanley (hurrah for the major general). Which means I have to frollick :/ eek!!! This means that i have to dance gracefully and prance about the stage, graceful like a swan, unfortunately for me im about as graceful as a charging bull so this will be an interesting process for me.

Oh and it gets better, the one and only Matty J has joined the chorus as a pirate arr!!!.  Not only am I having a great time in rehearsals but he is seriously enjoying it. hes got this natural energy that I seriously wish I had sometimes. I remember being like that when i was younger but alas I guess ive gone to conservitive in my old age (would like to point out the matt is actually older then me). hum i just realised how negitive ive been sounding about myself, lol best stop that straight away.

On a good note now that Ive done a show already I am more confident in singing out (also helps being separated into proper vocal groups) and my audition this time around wasnt a failure. there are still many things I need to learn, Like keep more eye contact, act out while singing and keep my hands out of my pocket. hopefully next time ill get that right and be asked to do a reading for a part. still praying on chicago which is an Alto show. YAY!!! pirates unfortunally is a soprano show with the only alto being a 47 year old woman. Still i auditioned for that part knowing full well i hadnt a hope in hell is going anywhere with it. most of the chorus songs are quite hard for me with the notes we hit but the more we are singing them the easier its getting so its 100% a positive thing for my range.

once again ive been making baked goodies for the show and my cupcakes where a success.

More updates of Pirates to come :D

claire

Are you there Immi? Its me Claire (Part 4)

So tomorrow is September and the 17th of sept will equal a year since the visa application went into Immigration. Its been a long and stressful year and hopefully this will all come to an end shortly. HOPEFULLY!!!! my greatest fear is being declined and having to re apply all over again. The thoughts of having to wait up to another year is just frightfull espically after everything myself and Matty have been through. I contacted immi a week and a half ago and was told that finally we have a case officer. Huzzah!! usually once this happens its just a couple of weeks till we get an answer and my nerves are ratteling with so much anxiety. I spoke with the most lovely guy who I have to say has been the most helpful, polite and informative person I have had the pleasure of speaking too whenever I have called up. He said that seeing as I havent actually heard from my case officer that i should take it as "no news is good news" I hope he is correct.!!

Not sure if  I have mentioned before but the reason we fear the decline so much is that we havent fulfilled one of the main requirements. The you must have lived with each other for a year when applying for this visa. one that we missed out on by 4 months. however we did state in our Stat Decs that we moved in together so quickly because since we got together over a year before we applied we had actually spent every night together in one or the others apartments and that we were doing joint shopping for both. So im really hoping that seeing as its now been a year and nine months since moving in with each other they will give us the benefit of the doubt.

Every other requirement we have fullfilled and we have provided enough evidence that we are in a genuine and continueous relationship.

So please for the next few days/weeks if you can all keep your fingers crossed for us I would greatly appreciate it.

On a good note if it does come through its likely i have 2 jobs I can choose from to walk into.

Claire

"I've had the time of my life and I owe it all to you"

As you all know i joined Ashfield Musical Society in Feb, after an extremely disasterous audition, And i know I promised an update on the goings on of the rhershals and the lead up to the show. Unfortunately I havent been blogging the past few months for various reasons.

The June bank holiday weekend signafied the end of my trip "Back to the 80's" and what an adventure it has been. This seriously has been the most fun I have had in a long time. I seriously regret not emailing to join all those times i have thought about it over the past 2 years. because of that i missed out on being in "Chess" and "Spamalot" and those of you that know me well will know im a HUGE "Monty Python" fan. Ah well what is life without regrets.

"Back to the 80's" is an amazingly energetic show with the tackiest storyline EVER!!. you know your typical American highschool story. Boys has crush on next door neighbour, she has a crush and starts dating the school top jock (you know the coolest, hottest guy in school). The jocks pick on the new girl in school by sending false love letters, teachers who are dating having a rough patch, cause well he discovers a photo of her as a centerfold of a "mens" swimsuit magazine from a decade before and then there was the nerds. The  songs are all hits from the 80's that I have to admit amazingly fitted in with the story. egs were "kids in America" well cause we were "Kids in America", "Hey mickey" the cheerleaders perform this for the school elections, "Michael" was the name of the cool guy", "Centerfold" ala the swimsuit magazine. The musical even got rickrolled. I mean seriously how cool IS that. There are also a number of songs I could do without ever hearing again "we are the world" being one of them

Rhershals were more then fun. The first rhershals was the most daunting. Seeing as i didnt know anyone, it was almost like starting a new job or even the first day of school (except i didnt have THAT problem being a twin). Thankfully, Richard remembered me from the auditions so i had someone to talk to. That didnt stop me from chatting to other people.  The first few weeks of rhershals were mainly learning the songs. we would just sit in lines and follow the instrustions from the musical director David. I have to admit i showed my shy side here. Being a contralto(and a bit of a belter) i found sitting beside sopranos with amazing voices made me nervous to sing out. but also made it hard to get the harmonies right. It wasnt till midway through i lost that nerve.

The dancing came next(apart from one which we learned from day one that went one to be in "footloose" which i want in), i was quite rusty seeing as it had been 5/6 years since my hiphop classes back in Dublin. Energetic is deffinately a word i would use to describe these. Even though I hate the song "Love Shack" was my favourite of the dance routines.

Putting the Acts together was so much fun, it meant that I finally got to see scenes that the principles featured in. Hearing some of the jokes the first time round had me in stitches and tears on some occasions. Espically when "Mr Cocker" was calling out "beuller" and "kirk" responded that it was his day off. I think that was lost on some of the younger cast.

Show week was an exhausting week. We had "bump in" on the sunday with an 10 hour day of rhershals. As you can imagine it was the longest work day ive had in forever. :). we had full dress rhershals on the monday and Tuesday getting home about midnight. Wednesday was a night off, however i went to see the amazing miss Kylie that night. Then it was Thursday aka "opening night" eek. It was so exciting and I was so nervous. I managed not to screw up, apart from my boob issue. My dress for the second act nicely fell down a bit an exposed my boobs for the audience to see. Thankfully I wore my cardigan closed that night so im not sure if anyone seen anything. Thank god.  Friday night was the one i was the most anxious for seeing as i had 25 friends in the front 2 tables. It went without a hitch. ok well maybe one hitch. a second boob malfunction this time druing "get out of my dreams" but it was ok i was at the back of the stage and  managed to fix it. lets just say dress got pinned to bra from that night onwards and no more boob action insued. woo!!! saturday was exhausting with 2 shows but it flew by and then it was sunday and it was over :(

We had a great buffet dinner afterwards in the room next to the auditorium. It was great to just relax and chat away with everyone. But extremely sad that it was over. Everyone was signing each others programs. This time reminding me of getting my shirt signed by class mates at the end of school....

I had the greatest time and so much fun, I've lots of new friends including some great new friends ( you know who you are). So many amazing and talented people with different personalities who all in turn have one thing in common a love of musicals..

Thank you guys and galls, I've had the time of my life and i really do, owe it all to you xxxxxx

Heres to the next show. More laughs and tears and memories to have

Claire

"A reflection on a year gone by"

Its been a while since I've written a blog. I have personal reasons for not doing any since my last immi update. I've been on the biggest life rollercoaster these past 3-4 months. It has been a highly emotional time for me. I have been treated unfairly, been the focus of a number of nasty lies and rumours and have been judged accordingly. I have lost friends, one expected, others extremely unexpected and have caused me great pain.
I have kept myself at a distance to save myself any further hurt. Isolated myself from the outside world. One outcome of this is that I now know who I can trust and really call a friend. Unfortunally a second outcome of this is that im now finding it hard to trust anyone let alone open out to them and really be myself. I have started to feel really alone and dissappointed in everything. It truely has been the shittest end to worst year of my life.

Last friday marked the official 1 year mark since my life got turned upside down. Yup the day I lost my job. All in all it hasnt been that bad of a year. Yes, I havent worked a day since last june, Yes I still dont have a new visa.... yet!. Yes, we have lived in poverty, Yes my brother has had to leave Australia and I miss him dearly, Yes, the last few months have been crap. However, Ive had an amazing holiday, got engaged in Paris, spent Christmas with my parents and future in-laws. I had an amazing Birthday party, Bit the bullet and joined a musical society (more on that later), But most of all after a year, myself and Matt are still as strong as ever and still completely in love. Hopefully i'll have a new visa in the next 3 months and then we can move from our horrible apartment, plan our wedding and go on a much needed holiday.

Huge thanks to everyone for their support, friendship and love over the past year (even those who are no longer friends, you were a huge support to us before it all fell to pieces and we thank you for that). once everything is back to normal, we will be inviting all those (and i mean "all") who a supported us for a meal somewhere. xx

Claire

Are you there Immi? Its me Claire (Part 3)

So this morning I had one of those moments where I felt upset by the fact that it is now 7 months into my visa application and 10 months into being unemployed. After last weeks let down with GN wasting my time and thinking I was about to get a break work wise. I guess im feeling more let down by the system.

Now that its been the 7 months into the 7-9 month turnaround, everytime my hotmail lights up with a new email. I think this is it "this will be the email telling me I have my visa so I can start working again". Unfortunately that email hasnt arrived yet :(.

I decided to go back onto Australian Forum today. A site I havent visited in months because it kept getting me down. why you ask? imagin being told that every application is being treated the same and will be processed in the order they have been received. how would you feel reading about others who have had there visas granted within a week or 2/3/4/5 months when you have been waiting for what seem like forever. Its not nice hey? so you can understand why it gets me down. Anyways i went onto the forum today and noticed a number of people who applied around the same time as me finally getting their approval so i decided seeing as its been over a month since my last call to immigration and I had 50c in my purse that it was time to call for an update.

I was on hold for a less amount of time as i normally have so maybe calling later then i normally do i a good idea to note for future calls. Anyways i got through to Tara in the melbourne call center. Who I have to say was the most honest person I have spoken to todate. Once again my visa is currently being processed. No further documentation is required blah blah blah. She explained to me that with the recent changes in the requirement for skilled migration visas has resulted in a unbelieveable amount of new partner applications being received. Due to this the new current wait is 9 - 12 months, so yet another blow to my life at the moment. so this means that instead of i should be hearing in the next 2 months its gone back to 5. FML. I had a number of questions to ask her but unfortunately they go unanswered as i felt myself about to explode with tears so i chockingly said thank you and hung up.

After 10 months of being unemployed and the current 7 month wait and counting for my visa, its really starting to take its toll. The stress is building up in Matt and I fear he is going to end up in hospital again. I find myself unmotivated to do even the smallest of things. Money is tight and getting tighter as bills go up and it doesnt help with SDRO finding new fines that need to be paid. The fact that we can hardly socialise with our friends is really getting to the both of us. And when we do get a chance we end up spending more money then we can afford. We have no idea what we are going to do if the visa gets cancelled let alone how we will afford to re apply or move to a new country as we cant afford to save.

I feel now that each time I call up its going to be harder. as these past 2 times i have ended up in tears on the phone. But I will endevour to keep you all updated.

Claire

"I'm not fat I'm big boned" - Eric Cartmen

Weighing in at 80kgs unfortuately for me means that im offically classed as obesse. Whenever I say this to people they dont believe me. I guess we all have grown to asociate obesesity with the size 20+ people we are so used to seeing on the TV. I am a size 16, infact when I was a size 14 I was still classified as obese. Starteling huh? They say the average woman is a size 14 so does this mean that the average woman is not just overweight according to there BMI but obese too?

Almost a year ago I went to the Sydney event for the "Rose of Tralee". The photos of that event were the "wake up call" for me. I didnt like what I saw in the photos. So I decided to take action. Unfortunately for me I have 3 big problems and Im sure many of you have these too:
1. Im one of the worst comfort eaters you will ever meet.When im sad, feeling sorry for myself or someone has gotten me down I reach for the chocolate, Ice-cream cake and coke. Anyone who is a comfort eater will tell you that sometimes you dont even think about what your doing, then next thing you know BAM!!!! wow I just ate 2 bars of choclate with 1 cup of tea.
2. Im a huge procrastinator. I will always find something else to do that takes me away from what im meant to be doing. per example, I am typing this blog when im meant to be cleaning. Or maybe staying in bed a little longer so i dont have to go to the GYM
and 3. I seriously lack willpower. Believe it or not its True. I sit here daily going to myself. DO something!! Go to the GYM, go for a run, Get on the Wii Fit. Instead I continue to sit at the laptop bored. Complaining that im bored. im unemployed so In theory I have no reason not to go to Curves for the 30mins session every day. But in general i just about scrape in my 3 workouts a week.

I joined Curves back in June after eventually getting some "willpower" to do something about the ever growing extra kilos ive been lugging around. I weighed in at 83kgs then. Then I lost my job, cue Binge Drinking and comfort eating to numb the pain. So by the time I started the weight management program in August I was up to 85kgs(main incentive for starting the program). By christmas I had lost 5kgs and  I have been fluctuating between 79 and 80.5 since then.. All I can say is that ive lost motivation again and recent events have not helped.

So today I decided that I need to get back on the bandwagon. I had a chat with Michelle at Curves in Petersham (there were almost tears). She called me a "serial faller off-er"! but congradulated me on keeping the 5kgs Off. We have set a goal for me of 75kgs for when my show is on in June. She is going to find an incentive for me to HAVE to go to the GYM everyday. So what I need for all of you is support so that I dont "Fall Off" again. I give you all full permission to smack me in the back of the head if you see me eating something I shouldnt, hell even if im eying it up give me a whack. Remind me about my goal.

I will keep you posted here on my successes and failures cause lets face it there will be some. Also I would just like to inform you all. I am doing this not because the TV and Magazines say i should be slimer but because I want to take action and prevent health issues. I am coming to an age where I could be high risk for a number of problems and I want to lower my chances of getting them.

Claire

Me 80kgs

Are you there Immi? Its me Claire (Part 2)

I know its been a while but unfortunately there has been a lot emotionally and mentaly going on in my life at present. Ive gotten to a stage where after 9 months of not working, the loneliness of spending days on my own and being broke has finally gotten to me. Oh and my brother has had to leave the country. That little comfort on having one of my best friends and a family member in Australia has been taken away from me. Ive been kick while im down and I cant get up again. I have taken myself away from social sites for a bit so wont we writing about my life here for a while. My other writing has stopped and ive no motivation to write. fingers crossed ill get it back

On the visa side yesterday I plucked up the courage to call immigration yesterday. What a shock im still where I was 2 months ago. Sitting in a pile in a box or a room or someones desk somewhere. I asked some questions about what happens if we get declined. I found the lady really unhelpful. she told me to be patient and as im still on a 457 to get a job with someone who would sponsor me. To which my response was "If it was that easy i wouldnt be bored or depressed or worried"..

On a plus note, my amazing friend Naomi found a position on line offering sponsorship. I will be applying for this so fingers crossed I hear something. Oh and the musical society reharshals are going awesome :)

Claire

FebFast - The Last Day :)

Huzzah!!!! Its the last day of FebFast and seriously this month has flown by. I wanna thank everyone for all their support throughout the month and for the donations. I am $25 off my target. So I your still wanting to donate dig deep into your purses/wallets/pockets and donate what you can.

Days of FebFast: 28
Days remaining: 0
Number of FastBreaks Purchased: 0
Number of times at pub drinking water: 14
Amount raised: $475
Amount to Goal: $25

The shoutouts for this week go to Jax who generously donated to me when I was sitting in the pub with everyone drinking water. To the awesome Jayne thank you for your kindness and support throughout the month. Last but not least to the wonderful Brian(his is the completely anon donation on my page), thank you thank you thank you, He is meant to be saving to come visit in October but could still could find a few dollars for the cause.

If you wanna donate and help me reach my goal by the end of the day click now http://www.febfastfundraising.com.au/claire_king_5

Claire

FebFast - Day 18

Just over a week left can you believe it. The whole month is flying. I have had a bad week when it has come to sleeping. I dont know whether this is an effect of having not had alcohol in my system for a number of weeks or if it is something else. All I know is that i have been truely exhausted and the idea of a few drinks to help me sleep has been mentioned by a number of people. Who I will admit have forgot that I was doing FebFast. I quickly reminded them that I was on it to which they appologiesed :)

Days of FebFast: 18
Days remaining: 10
Number of FastBreaks Purchased: 0
Number of times at pub drinking water: 9
Amount raised: $430
Amount to Goal: $70

Shout out goes to the beautiful Leah.  I spent the day on tuesday hanging with Leah as she was recovering from a heart operation. We watched Rent and chatted and she insisted on me showing her how to donate. She kindly donated more then I expected but explained. That as she was in hospital the week before she saved money on food and shopping so she was giving it to the charity instead. What an amazing thing to do/say. I am truely touch. Thank you lovely xx

Just $70 left to go and 10 days for me to achieve it. Help me get that goal. remember all you have to donated is the cost of a drink or more if you want. It is a great charity. We all knew someone as a teenager or young adult that got heavy into drinking and drugs. These charities are there to give support and help them in their time of need. You can help too. Just by clicking the link and donating.
http://www.febfastfundraising.com.au/claire_king_5

Claire

Im going "Back to the 80's"

So as you all know I had my disaster of an audition for the Ashfield Musical Society last week. The week following the audition was aweful. I was anxious daily to hear back. Constantly checking my emails to see if there was an email about whether I was in or out. Basically that same feeling you get when your trying to hear whether you got a job or not.


On sunday I got an email that begain with. "Congratulations, what a great standard of singing and dancing we had at the auditions" but later on said "Rehersals will begin on Thursday, so everyone who has received an email from me will be required". I sat there confused trying to decide if I was in or not. In the end I interpreted that I wasn't in as I hadn't received another email from her. That feeling of rejection started the sink in. I then started to think. What if this is the email she was talking about and maybe she meant to say "all of you who have received this email are requided". so I responded back asking "Am I required on the 17th? I havent received any other email from you. Or is this the email you are talking about?". Half and hour later she responded that "Yes it was the email she was talking about and that she will clarify that with everyone".

So I guess they looked beyond the nerves from the audition and decided to give me a shot in the musical. I dont have a part but thats cool cause i really only wanted to be part of the chorus.. its where the fun is.

Tonight is the first rehershal. Im so excited for it.. Incase you dont know the musical is "Back to the 80's". It was written by some Aussie guy but features some of the best songs from the 80's. it even gets rickrolled. Show will be on in early June at Concord RSL for anyone who wants to support. I will keep you posted.

Claire

FebFast The half way mark :)

So today is Valentines Day. But not only is it Valentines Day, today signafies the middle of  FebFast. I am still feeling great and have succeded in getting through my second weekend without Alcohol. I am actually enjoying not drinking Alcohol and I really think that this month is seriously going to help me cut down over all. Im going to leave it short today. After having such a great weekend with Matty. Im feeling rather lonely today.

Days of FebFast: 14
Days remaining: 14
Number of FastBreaks Purchased: 0
Number of times at pub drinking water: 8
Amount raised: $380
Amount to Goal: $120

Todays shoutout goes to Erin, also the winner of the best Canadian award in my books. Thank you for your support hun. You are a rock in times of need. xx

Donate and get a shoutout click the link. only a little way to go http://www.febfastfundraising.com.au/claire_king_5

Happy Valentines Day to all you couples out there and keep up the good work to my FebFast friends.

Claire

FebFast - Day 11

I have decided not to update everyday. Im sure you all dont want the hear every moment of me not drinking lol.
Today is day 11. Almost half way there. This past week has been so easy. I really havent wanted to have a drink. The only day I wanted one was before my Audition on monday to calm my nerves and a number afterwards to drown my spirits. Thankfully due to being poor and having an awesome future husband, I go through the whole event :).

Today is friday and is the beginning of my second weekend off the alcohol. Heres hoping i make it through it :)

Days of FebFast: 11
Days remaining: 17
Number of FastBreaks Purchased: 0
Number of times at pub drinking water: 6
Amount raised: $360
Amount to Goal: $140

Shout outs go to my wonderful parents. Who as always have supported me through this charity event as they have done numurous times in the past. Thank you for your kindness and charity xxx
Also to the amazing Jude, another person to whom I am truely blessed to call a friend and also a best friend. One of the most kind, loving and generous people I know. thank you so much for your support.

So ive only got $140 left to raise. If you want to help all you have to do is click the link and donate the cost of a drink/Bottle of wine/a night out or as much as you can possibly donate. Its all for charity and as they say in Tescos "every little helps"

http://www.febfastfundraising.com.au/claire_king_5

Claire

I did not Defy Gravity at my audition

Well I said id let you know how my audition went. I stuck with a song I knew one that I have used successfully before for my leaving cert practical and an audition about 8 years ago. One I have sang recently at karaoke and it sounded great. Last night I sounded like i had only heard the song once. Like I was winging it. :(

I spent yesterday sitting at the piano ensuring that I had it perfect playing and singing along. but as the time got closer to going to the audition I started freaking out. I spoke with Matty and begged him to come with me for support. I needed my rock (he wasnt much of a rock, more of a hungry, cranky, tired matty ah well).

We got there super early. Everyone was really nice and I was feeling relaxed. Then the reality sunk in that everyone knew each other and I knew no one. this made the nerves come on again. Matt started up a conversation with an English guy Richard who hadnt auditioned for a show in 10 years(last one was with AMS and they remembered him). So that didnt make me feel so bad. He also had no song prepared and was going to ask for a list of music they had.

2 people had already been called in before me so I figured i was next. it was after all the time I was alocated. The 1st lady obviously a regular was fine she didnt want to audition for any specific role just wanted to be in the show (much like me). The guy after here was about 18 and he clearly done loads of shows with them he was taking it serious. He had a 1st choice and a 2nd and 3rd role choice. he had me nervous. some girl came in and kept singing to herself I dont think she has worked with AMS before either. she seemed a bit cocky. On the form you have to fill in any productions you have been in roles societies etc. She goes "do you really want me to fill this in or can i just attach my portfolio" the guys at the desk rolled there eyes and said attaching is fine. So im like great she has loads of experience, this will be like going up against, Will, Kate, Leah and Swaddles for a part.

The guy that went in second came out with one of the ladies from inside and they called the english guy richards in. They all went back into the room togeather. Matt thought that was weird. He came out with an Orange folder as did the guy who went in second (he also had what looked like a script, guess they had a role for both of them).

Then I got called I. I had gotten advise from friends who have done many auditions before. So I did what they said. I walked in confidient. introduced myself. gave my music to the pianist, explained where I would like to start told the panel the same. They told me to stand in the middle of the hall. I started freaking out. The 3 ladies were staring right at me. then the music kicked in. I wasnt  ready. the first 3 words didnt even come out of my mouth and the rest were all over the place. I relaxed a couple of times and sounded fine but the nerves kept shining through. Like Ms Agularia at the superbowl I was forgetting the words. luckly I had the written down. Then I just had to stop I couldnt go on. I felt like crying.

The ladies were lovely. Really understanding too. I appologised saying that my nerves had gotten the best of me and that I was now extremely embarrased. They discussed a dance audition but ruled it out cause I have done hip hop in the past (and that if i loved hip hop dancing ill love the 80's). I rambled on a bit saying that I its a lot easier to get up infront of a crowd and sing karaoke which I do all the time.. they agreed that it is easier. Wendy told me that the rehersals will start next week and they will let me know what day.

I doubt I got a role with such a disasterous audition but im guessing im in chorus which as Matts mum Lynn reminded me was what I was going for in the 1st place... So now its a wait for an email telling me how ive done. they are having another load of Auditions on Thursday night so maybe the weekend or monday ill know.

At least its a start anyway. not like im going for Australian Idol or anything. otherwise everyone at home would have had a great laugh over the state of my singing. lol.

Ill keep you up todate

peace and love

Claire

"Oh, I love my Life and All that Jazz!!!!"

Many of you know where the title of my Blog comes from and how its associated with me. Others will know that im refering to the song from "Chicago" and the rest will just asume im using it as a figure of speach.

As many of you know I am a huge fan of musicals. I have been from a very young age. I used to love when christmas rolled around cause for some bizzare reason thats the time of year they are always on. Every Christmas meant that I could see Julie Andrews in "The Sound of Music" and "Mary Poppins" or Doris Day in "Calamity Jane", plus other favourites like "Hans Christian Anderson", "Annie", "Oliver",  and "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang". I Just loved how they would burst into song to tell a story or express a feeling.

Primary school thaught me "Joseph and his Technicolour Dreamcoat". When I reached secondary school I was introduced to "Les Miserables", "Porgy and Bess" , "Phantom of the Opera", "Fiddler on the Roof", "The Wiz", "Oklahoma" etc.. Curiosity introduced me to "Wicked" and Hollywood gave me "Chicago".

I loved to sing, but I was never very confident. I took part in every school choir for my 5 years in secondary school. I was a member of the Dublin Secondary Schoolgirls choir twice preforming in the National concert Hall. I was in the chorus of school productions of "Annie" and "Fiddler on the Roof". I loved it. There is something fun and exciting about being part of a show. Even if one is only in the Chorus. For my Leaving Cert Music practical I sang "On My Own" Les Miserables, "My favourite Things" Sound of Music and "All I ask of you" from Phantom or the Opera.

I hated singing in front of people I didnt know, I prefared to sing in goups so people couldnt hear me. My music teacher Ms Campbell told me I had a good voice but having spent my whole life feeling talentless and being told it I didnt think that was a time to start believing it. I knew I had a talent for the piano. I started lessons when I was 13 and 8 months later I sat my grade 1 exam. I skipped 3 grades. Even with the piano I didnt like people to hear me play.

After secondary school I wanted to join a Musical Society but never did. I would never get up to sing Karaoke. Apart from that one time in BOI when i was made too. Some of my colleagues said I was the best that night but I didnt believe them. I still dont.

I went to see Chicago on Broadway in 2006 and it blew me away. It quickly became my favourite musical.

When I moved to Australia, I used to sit up stairs when the Karaoke was on in kellys. Then I got to know the host Arran and he eventually convinced me (with a little bit of help from my sister Niamh) after 3 months to sing a song. it was a quiet night so I sang Zombie. It sounded good although my nerves shun through.  so i tried it again another night. I got to know other regulars at Karaoke and started trying new songs. I eventually became obsessed and as I was single I would go to different venues where guys I knew through kellys were hosting. You couldnt get me away from a mic (which funny enough, I went to a fortune teller in the george st mall in dublin who once told me that I loved to sing and one day I would get the confidence i needed and i would get up on stage and that would be it I wouldnt never stop. I just needed the boost. guess she got something right.)

 One night at The Royal Hotel in Leichhardt. Jason thought it would be a great idea for myself and Jayne to swap songs. She would sing "I want you to want me" which was one of my songs and I was to do "All that Jazz" one of her songs that I had wanted to try but I have this thing were if its someone elses song I dont like to do it. Anyways I nailed it. I couldnt believe it. I hit notes I wasnt sure I would hit and with the strenght I needed. That must have been about 2 years ago and it has since become my signature song. Hence the All that Jazz in the title of my blog.

I kept thinking that I would love to join a Musical Society over here now that I have gotten the confidence to sing in front of people. (dont get me wrong, I still get nervous, espically at new venues, trying new songs and around close friends and family who havent heard me sing before. recently I had a showtunes birthday party and i worked on "Defying Gravity" from Wicked, the first time I sang through the whole song i was shaking like that guy in "something about Marys" leg when he tried to pick his keys off the ground) I Have made a number of amazing friend who all are members of a number of musical societies on the north side of the city.  But I wanted to go somewhere close to home. I discoved that Ashfield has a society and after months of himing and hawing I emailed them in November.

Just over a week ago I got a response inviting me to Audition for the upcoming show "Back to the 80's". Its an Australian musical featuring some great hits from the 80's. I contacted them and arranged my Audition. Which believe it or not is tonight. Im a nervous wreck. They convinced me to sing something I know and am comfortable with. They want to hear my range not the song so ill be singing "on my own". I said I was interested in only the chorus but friends said I should try for a part, Im happy with either although Ive never acted before so that maybe a problem. plus there is a possibility of a dance autition if they like me. eek.

I feel like this is going to be my creative year. Being unemployed has really made me think about what I want in life and also now that im 28 its time to grab the bull by its horns and do things I want to do instead of regreting it later (also before I start a family of my own cause then ill have no time for me). So fingers crossed for me peeps. Ill keep you updated on the outcome.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." — Eleanor Roosevelt

Claire

Poster from my birthday party

FebFast - Day 5 and 6

What a weekend. Sydney experienced the hottest night on record and I survived a weekend of get togeathers. Saturday we spent the day sorting the apartment. We then got invited to go to Gordons bay for a swim with friends then to a bbq afterwards at their place. The swim was amazing and soo needed on a day that hit 42 degrees celcius. Gordons Bay is a perfect spot surrounded by cliffs to give you enough shade from the sun.

After the swim was a stop off at Dan Murphys in Alexandria for BBQ provisions. where believe it or not I got asked for ID for my Ginger Ale and bottle of Non-Alcoholic Bubbly. Matt was paying for his beers also at the time and the lady insisted that I went to the car to get my ID. Talk about irony.

Proof of my bubbles.

Yesterday I drank the Newington Dry of ginger beer. Apparently according to the licencee they usually sell about 1 a week. Matt informed Craig to order extra in for Feb cause thats all Ill be drinking. We had friends over for a roast dinner which at our place usually involves a lot of booze but on this occasion turned out to be a sober event.


Days of FebFast: 5 +6
Days remaining: 22
Number of FastBreaks Purchased: 0
Number of times at pub drinking water: 4
Amount raised: $300
Amount to Goal: $200

Shout out goes to my lovely twin sister Niamh who has kindly brought me to the $300 stage and has donated all the way from Ireland. Go Raibh Mile Maith Agut xxxxxxx

Im on day 7 now will report later. For now if you wish to donate please do. Im only $200 away :)
http://www.febfastfundraising.com.au/claire_king_5

remember its for a great cause and all you have to do is donate even the cost of one drink you would have had over the weekend.

Claire

FebFast - Day 4

I am proud to say that I survived yesterday. I didnt cave. I did not have any alcohol. In fact I had an amazing thought. I can have non- alcoholic ginger beer. All the taste of the alcohol kind but without the hangover. So I went up to The Newington Inn with Matty, who as you know has had the week from hell so that he could have some much deserved beers and I had my ginger beer in a Schoolner glass.

I would also like to report that today I sat in kellys with all the crew and also drink ginger beer of the non alcohol kind. Im loving it. I think with water and the ginger beer I can survive this month.

Days of FebFast: 4
Days remaining: 24
Number of FastBreaks Purchased: 0
Number of times at pub drinking water: 3
Amount raised: $260
Amount to Goal: $240

Shoutouts today go to:
the wonderful drewsepts aka Kristen and Drew who have donated all the way from C'Bus Ohio. I really appreciate your donation guys. You are seriously the most awesome couple. after myself and Matty of course.
The woman with as very kind heart Noreen. Donating all the way from San Fran. Like myself unemployed and still found a little in her purse to donate to my cause. you are seriously amazing.
Last but not least. I am deeply touched and shocked at the generousity of one Matt Curley. I cannot believe you have that much faith in me. But also Dom aswell. we are so blessed to call you a friend and have you in our lives. Thank you Thank you Thank you xxxx

I'm half way there. If you fancy helping me reach the rest of my goal click the link now.
http://www.febfastfundraising.com.au/claire_king_5

Once again thank you everyone for your donations so far and the faith you have bestowed in me. I greatly appreciate it.

Claire

FebFast - Day 3

Day 3 of no alcohol and  let me tell you not having a drink last night was hard cause boy did I deserve/need one. After spending an hour and a half at Marrickville Police Station reporting our fears regarding our N.F.H and having to keep talking about the previous two nights and giving statments. Being told to take an AVO out etc... was all too stressful. Thankfully I didnt break. Matt had a drink and I had water. So that was 2 actions of will power in 1 day. so proud of myself. Oh and I actually had a nights sleep uninterupted by N.F.H for the 1st time in ages.

Then that takes me to today. Thursday is usually a day where I would have a few drinks with friends at kellys for trivia. With the heat that I cant bare anymore. The fact that I hurt my back yesterday at curves meant I couldnt go to Zumba today. Im still exhausted cause one good nights sleep doesnt make up for weeks on none. Lets just say im somewhat cranky and I could really go with an ice cold pint of Cider. :(
Thankfully I have no money so I cant give in to that urge right now. Tonight when Matt gets paid may be a different story. Will I give in 3 days into my pledge or will I prove to myself I still have some will power left in me. Heres hoping. Find out tomorrow.

Days of FebFast: 3
Days remaining: 25
Number of FastBreaks Purchased: 0
Number of times at pub drinking water: 1
Amount raised: $130
Amount to Goal: $370

Todays Shoutout goes to the truely amazing Naomi. To whom I am very lucky to have in my life. I know you couldnt afford the donation and it means more to me that you have kindly supported me to reach my goal. Hopefully I wont ruin your faith by slipping and having that Cider. Oh and I will totally be taking you up on those Mocktails... When am I invited :)

Don't know where to donate click the link.
http://www.febfastfundraising.com.au/claire_king_5

Thanking you in advance
Claire

FebFast - Day 2

I am reporting to you today from Kellys on King. Thats right its a pub. I am here due to the fact that I wasnt feeling very safe at home due to neighbour from hell(NFH). However before you think I have caved on the second day. I am drinking pints of water. I will not let NFH drive me to drink. Who knew I had that will power.. WOO.. go me :)

Tally for today is as follows

Days of FebFast: 2
Days remaining: 26
Number of FastBreaks Purchased: 0
Number of times at pub drinking water: 1
Amount raised: $110
Amount to Goal: $390

Todays Shoutouts go to:
My Auntie Bernadette who left an Anon donation on my page but her name came with the email letting me know I have received a donation. I have now outed you. mwahahaha
Secondly to my wonderful future mother-in-law Lynn. As always thank you for your generosity, kindness and support.

Once again thank you to everyone for your support. If anyone else wishes to donate click the link
http://www.febfastfundraising.com.au/claire_king_5

Claire

FebFast - Day 1

So its day one of the no alcohol fasting and so far so good. Although in saying that I wouldnt normaly have had a drink at this time of the day and less often on a Tuesday. However I am here to report my fundraising aswell as my willpower (or what little I have). So far today I have actually turned down a drink from my brother. so Hurrah to me :). And believe me after the stress from neighbour from hell last night and having to speak to his real estate agent today I need one.

ok so onto the details you will see hopefully grow daily :)

Days of FebFast: 1
Days remaining: 27
Number of FastBreaks Purchased: 0 (and I am in for the fight so I will not be purchasing one of these which allow you to have a drink by donating. its cheating)
Number of times at pub drinking water: 0
Amount raised: $55
Amount to Goal: $445

Big shout outs go to RaRa and Julie who have sponsored me so far. Your faith in me is outstanding. Good luck to RaRa who is also taking part in FebFast. If you can do it then there isnt any excuse for the rest of us. hehe.. I kid I kid :p

You can donate here http://www.febfastfundraising.com.au/claire_king_5

Again thanks for your support

Claire

February Detox - Fundrasing

Today is the last day of January and im sure most of you are going where the hell did the month go? for me i welcome it cause apparently the world and its monther(including myself) have their birthdays in January. So after an alcohol infused month I have decided to take a break from drinking for the whole month of Feb and what better way to do it then to do it for charity. So today I signed up for Febfast: the following is borrowed from the febfast website explaining the fundraising:
"The funds raised through FebFast 2011 are earmarked for a variety of organisations working to prevent or reduce the impacts of alcohol and other drugs on young Australians "

I will keep you all updated on my fundraising. If you would like to donate please do so through the following link http://www.febfastfundraising.com.au/claire_king_5

I have a goal set of $500 please help me achieve it. Please pass on the world :)

Thanking you in advance

Claire

"Who wants to live forever" - Queen

Last week I put the following up as my facebook status "Who wants to live forever anyway". A dear friend of mine corrected me by saying that anyway doesnt belong at the end of that line. My response was that I put it there for a personal reason. I know the real line is either the line in the title of this blog or "who waits forever anyway".

In July 2006 Myself and a really close friend Sarah went to the opening night of "Queen at the Ballet" in The Point Depot in Dublin. It is a South African production run by the Nelson Mandela Foundation to raise money for AIDS in Africa. Due to the closeness the charity has with Ireland through fundraising they decided it would be lovely to have the 1st ever show outside of South Africa in Dublin. The rummor was that Nelson himself was going to be there for the opening of the show and do a speach. In the end due to illness Mandela couldnt come but sent his daughter instead. Her speach was amazing.

It was a last minute decision for us to go( we were both huge Queen fans so that persuaded us to go in the end). We were really surprised to get tickets to the 1st night. I was a bit iffy about how ballet would work with Queen songs. "Radio GaGa" was funny, "Barcelona" had the hairs standing on the back of my neck. Their singers were amazing. However "who wants to live forever" came on, it was beautiful and moving and the dancing worked so well with the song. I remember it like it was yesterday. There was 3 couple performing. 2 male and female couples and a couple of 2 men. They danced amazingly with each other but by the end of the song they had all died in each others arms. I remember Sarah turning around and saying "omg I can't stop crying" to which my response was "me either". We left the show completely overwhelmed mainly by that dance alone.

On October 12th 2006 I received a phone call to my office from a friend of Sarahs telling me she had died the day before. I was devastated, I had only known her for 2.5 years but she had become one of my closest friends in that time. We were both going through tough times and were there to support each other. Sarah has suffered from depression a lot longer and a lot worse to what I had. Her father said at her funeral "She has died from her disease". I got a family friend to make a beautiful wreath for her and on the card I wrote "We will always have 'Queen at the Ballet'. Who wants to live forever anyway... Claire". Her sister told me later that she was touched by those words as it meant something to both myself and Sarah. Rather then the usual RIP notes.

I still miss her and am teary sharing this now. I cannot listen to this song without crying as it reminds me of that night.

Happy 28th Birthday Sarah. Wish you were here xxx

Another year older and somewhat wiser :)

So today is my 28th birthday I am offically now in my late 20's and as you do on your birthday you reflect on your years gone by. I can offically say having completed secondary school almost eleven years ago I still have no idea what I want to do in life, what career path I want to follow. I'm also sure I'm not alone there. But you know what it really doesnt bother me. I have worked with many people who spent 4-5 years studying in university amazing subjects where there are either little or no jobs in that field. Where did these people end up working in the bank with me. I dont regret not getting a degree in anything and I wouldnt change any decisions I have made in my life. They are the reasons I am here today.

I would never have guessed this time last year that I would be in this visa situation. Its taken me 7 months to make a decision that will invole me not spending all my time on Facebook. Since starting to write this blog (and  I know ive only writen 5 posts, I have been quite busy this past week to do more), my brain has completely switched its self on. I have had some amazing ideas and thoughts (usually at night time when im trying to sleep, note will need notebook by the bed). SOOOOoooo to get back to the point. Im going to try and write a book. no really, im serious, Ive spent the past few days coming up with plots and characters. ive spoke with friends about it and they love my idea. Im not looking to get a book published or anything I was never that good a writer. Its about achieving self-actualisation (am i using the right work here?)

So watch this space everyone :)

The 'rents have left the building.

Well the day has come. My parents have vacated my home, are on their way to the airport and I am sad. Yes there were tears.

I have been pretty lucky since I have moved over to Australia, I have returned home 3 times and my parents have visited twice. So in the space of 2.5 years I have spent time with them 5 times in total. I know a number of people who have been lucky to have seen their family once or twice in that time. I guess you could say that i have been spoilt.

My parents have been here for 8 weeks sharing our tiny 1 bedroom apartment and yes at times it felt crowded and sleeping on a mattress hasn't been fun (oh and the fact that they can bicker like teenagers to a point i would jokingly say "silence or ill turn this car around" :) ). But it has been nice having them here. When they were here the last time i was working so i only got to hang with them in the evenings. When I have been home ive been busy catching up with the world and his mother (last time it was showing Matt around Dublin), so I didnt get a lot of time with my mammy and daddy. This time however I have spent a great deal of time with them both and it has been wonderful. I cant remember the last time i spent a full day just hanging with them(let alone weeks). I have cherished every moment of it.

As I was saying goodbye to them this morning the realisation that I wont be seeing them for over a year and a half set in and I got quite upset.(Thankfully Matty had stayed back to say goodbye and comforted me). It will be the longest time I will have spent away from them. Next time will be my wedding in Dublin.

For now though I guess I just gotta go and sort out the apartment and put things back where they belong. Oh and take down the blow up mattress. but first things first Curves :)

Twitter

Thats right I am now on twitter you can follow me there at http//:twitter.com/clairemarieking

Are you there Immi? Its me Claire (Part 1)

It has now been 4 months since I handed in my visa application in person to the Sydney Office. So I decided that from now on they will be getting a monthly call for an update. I received an email from a girl I got chatting to through a forum who is going through the same ordeal as myself, in it she let me know she called herself for an update and was informed that her case is now in the process and awaiting a CO to make a decision. Feeling somewhat optomistic I decided to give them as call for an update.

I spoke with the lovely Lang who informed me that everything they need at present has been received but unfortunately I have not been placed in the "process as of yet" and that I need to be patient. The current time line for this visa is now 6 - 9 months. Which thankfully is a step down from the 9 - 12 I was told in September. Once I receive a CO if they require anymore documentation they will write me a letter requesting it. I explained the reason why I called we because on a forum ive been visiting there seem to be a lot of cases being completed within 3 - 4 months some less then that. Her response was that they are all treated on a case by case basis which unfortunately contradicts what I was told by the guy on the reception at the sydney office in November when I was handing in my police and health check. I was informed then that all applications are treated in order in which they are received. Hum! it has been evident to me since the beginning that this is not the case.

I guess as always I just have to sit and wait. Que sarcastic yay. Yes im still happy. But I would be more happy having a job and being able to move to a nicer apartment/house and also start to plan my wedding :)

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." — Eleanor Roosevelt

I first heard this quote used in the movie "The Princess Diaries" back in 2001. To which my reaction was "Wow, that is so true". It made me think about my life and how easily I was always pushed around and taken advantage of. I had very low self-esteem and self-confidence so it really was easy for a confident person to have power over me. Anyways, I decided that from that day onwards I would work on my self-esteem and become a more confident person. Unfortunately I was still quite young at the time and very nieve and the end of 2001 began a series of events that over the space of 6 years that spiraled me into the ups and downs of a depressed soul.

Refering back to my first blog I mentioned that my 1st trip to Australia helped knock me out of my funk. They say "change is as good as a holiday". But what about adding both of them together? That was apparently my cure, let me explain. So here I was in Australia, on a 3 month holiday from work. I was on the otherside of the world in a place id never been before but seen and heard so much about. A place I had only dreamed of visiting. I was free from my homelife away from 95% of my problems. I felt like I had escaped something but I really wasnt sure what at the time. Within a couple of weeks I felt alive, I felt like me, the me I hadnt been in so long. oh i missed me :)

The next step in the journey was to get a job. There was no way I would afford the holiday without it. Many a backpacker has found it hard to get a job in Sydney but not me. I registered my CV with Hays recruitment and within a day they had me an interview with a super company in the city. The day after the interview I started working. I was confident in myself going into that job, I was going to show people what I could do. AND I did. It was only meant to be a 3 week contract but the manager told me he wanted me to stay on for as long as i could, I was doing the same amount of work as 3 of his employees put together. Which I regret to say he brought up in their reviews. I was open with Brad. I had never felt the courage before to be able to express my worries to my employer before. I loved that job and I was so sad to go when I had to leave(and return to my old job). I am still in contact with a number of my old colleagues and my boss to this day 3.5 years later and hopefully maybe when my visa is sorted I might be working there again.

So there I was confident and feeling amazing about myself and returning to Ireland. As previously stated in Blog 1, I had 8 miserable months back in Ireland. Well would you blame me?, I was so free and alive in Sydney and then I returned back to the things that brought me down before. It was 5 months after returning that my relationship ended. That was where it all began for me, I think the trip to Australia (and another quote from E Roosevelt) gave me that boost I needed to make the decisions that have led me to become the person i am today almost 3 years later. The person I wanted to be in 2001. Incase your wondering what quote I am talking about I have it under my profile, "Do in your heart what you feel to be right for you will be critisied anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't" - Eleanor Roosevelt. Call me what you will, but these words that were spoken by a truely amazing woman are my guidence. I had spent my 25 years trying to please everyone and making myself misserable. I needed to make decisions that will make me happy. So I did and here I am today still confident. Im going through one of the toughest times of my life, but im happy. My decisions have led me to where I am today. I may have hurt those I love along the way to which I am deeply sorry for. Please forgive me.

I have often quoted that very line to friends when they are in difficult situation where a life changing decision has to be made. I know a number have found comfort and truth in it. It is your life, you have one chance to live it so be selfish for the right reasons from time to time and be happy.

I will close of this blog with another quote from the amazing Mrs Roosevelt. (get used to them they will appear alot)

"In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Claire

Tequila, it does bring you Happiness

Many people have asked me for the story about how Matt proposed in Paris. So I thought why not share it here.

1st things 1st a background on our relationship. Yesterday I meantioned that my story was like a bad romance novel or a chick flick. in a way it really is. I 1st met Matt at the beginning of June 2008. Literally days after arriving in Sydney. We were introduced through my brother Stephen at a bar in Newtown. Lets just say we didnt hit it off at all and that continued for about 3 - 4 months. I found Matt extremely arrogant, One of those "I know everything and ill argue my point even when im wrong" kind of people( we all know them). Unfortunately im the kind of person when I know im right wont back down so I got into many a heated arguement with him. I had a severe dislike for the guy and often left the pub because of it. Looking back on it we sometimes wonder whether we had felt a spark back then and just tried hiding it by being nasty to each other. Also Matt did confess that he used to argue points he knew he was wrong about because it was fun having someone to debate with??? FUN? SERIOUS? it was not fun!!!!!

So where did that change. I Bumped into Matt at Kings Cross station one evening when he was on his way home from work. We chatted like "normal people" aka not biting the head of each other. Although for some people that is the norm.. We had discussions and not arguements for the 1st time since we met. From that day forward we were friends.

I noticed by about June 09 that my feelings for Matt we changing again and by mid July I was thinking his were too. There were the usual hints and signs which I wont bore you with. Anyways after our friend Naomi's Birthday picnic in Camperdown park we all headed back to Kellys on King (the local haunt) to continue the celebration. Matt had been working but joined up with everyone in Kellys after work. By 5 or 6 feeling quite tipsy at the time. Arran a friend convinced myself and Matt to join him at his Bimbo Bingo (seriously the chick that was hosting it was SLOW). Were we got completely smashed. In the words of Terrorvission "Oh Tequila, it makes you happy". Listen here That was the night oh many Tequilas that resulted in us getting together and being inseperatable ever since. Seriously we disgust our friends still.

Ok so you have the background now on to the proposal.
lets just say I had an idea it was coming and when I say I had an idea, basically I mean Matt told me one night a couple of months before the trip that he was planning on asking me on top of the Eiffel tower. To which my response was "don't you dare do that its such a cliche" and he responded "Oh" :p
So there we were on top of the Eiffel Tower, which to me was the most unromantic place in the world. it took 2.5 hours to get up to the top and it was packed. The wind was howling and anyone that knows me knows i hate highs so i was shitting myself and thinking at the same time please not here, please not here. Thankfully it wasnt there. Phew!! It came to our last night after 3 days in Paris and I started wondering if he was going  toask. Maybe i didnt remember telling me that night or he said it just to make me smile. We were sitting in the terrace area of Chez Felicie, Montparnasse after have dinner. We were chatting(and sickingly gazing at each other) about our whole trip and about how sad we were to be going home to Sydney the next morning. Matts look changed. and the following to the best of my knowledge happened.

Me: Why are you looking at me like that?
Matt: What do you mean?
Me: Your looking at me funny!
Matt (smiling): Ok so you told me not to do it on the Eiffel Tower (he remembered) and I've been trying to find the best moment all weekend. I have a question to ask you. I can get down on one knee if you like?
Me: Oh god no please dont do that!
Matt: What ask you a question or get down on one knee?
Me (freaking out): Please dont get down on one knee, people will look.
*Que soppiness*
Matt: I have never felt for anyone else the way I feel about you and ive never been in a relationship that was so easy. I love you Claire and I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?
I was crying and speachless so I kissed him.
Matt: I take that as a yes then?
I nodded. Matt got teary and knocked back the rest of his wine to calm his nerves and ordered another...

The Rundown! - Who am I and Why am I here.

It sounds like a hollywood chick flick or probably a bad romance novel but this is where it all begain. (appologies in advanced for shocking grammer and puncuation)

Im 27 (almost 28, my birthday is in 1.5 weeks) and im originally from Ireland. Dublin to be Exact. So how did I end up in Australia??? Well it all began in 2007 when I came to Sydney on a 3 month holiday(Stupidly using up my 1 year WHV). I lived in Bondi Beach. Amongst most of the Irish community living in Sydney, cause well we thought that was the place to be. I worked, partied, made friends and fell in love with Sydney (but not the 33rd county of Ireland, ala Bondi). Sydney kicked me out of the depressed funk I had been in for years.

I returned to Ireland where I spent 8 months misserable and longing to go back to Sydney, I had an amazing job but my heart wasnt in it anymore and I was in a relationship that wasnt going anywhere and was causing me to sink back into depression. Luckily for me that relationship ended in Feb 08. I was FREE!!!! Having spent most of my later teens and my early twenties trying to please everyone and making my self unhappy, I decided it was time to make ME happy!!! within 4 weeks I had booked my flights for the end of May 08, sorted our a 6 month holiday visa and quit my job. I was heading back to Australia and I was using my life savings to do it.

It helped that my brother was living in Sydney at the time I was moving back, He was on a sponsorship visa, a visa I was hoping to get once I got there. Things seemed to start to work out for me. The company Stephen rented through were looking for a new staff member AND they offered sponsorship. I secured an interview when I was in Ireland  for when I arrived. 4 interviews later and the Job was mine sponsorship and all. Myself and Stephen rented a 2 bedroom unfurnished apartment in Newtown signed a 1 year lease :)   I had a job and an apartment, Life was good. Over the next 2 years I continued to work hard for the company that hired me. After 6 months I realised the owners didnt have a heart(they fired a colleague who had just found out he had Chrons Disease). Not being the only one on a sponsorship visa, ( in fact most of the office had been sponsored) they liked to use your Visa as a device that they could use against a staff member to ensure that everything was done 110%. basically everyone was too frightned about loosing their job that they did everything that was asked of them.


Over the next 2 years, i worked, partied, made lots of friends and fell in love with Matt whom I moved in with last January. I loved the work that I did, was great at my job and I worked well with clients and staff. well most staff members. One of the directors seemed to dislike me and i still dont know why. I had to watch what I wore, how i did my hair. what COLOR I dyed my hair etc. TBH I really think it stems from the fact that I was into heavy metal so I was stereotyped. Sometimes his treatment would get to me but most of the time i ignored it. In June 2010(a week after forking out for a trip to Ireland for Matt to meet my family), I was unexpectidly fired, I will not delve into the details except that it was illegal and unfair. I considered reporting them to immigration and sueing for unfair dismissal, but decided against it as one of my closest friends in Sydney was getting her permanent residency through them and I couldn't risk her loosing her visa and having to leave too.

I put my head down straight away to find a new job. but was unsuccessful. all I wanted to do was be with the man I love in a country that stole my heart. Unfortunatly due to a lack of time and ruling moving to Ireland out due to the GFC (best to have one unemployed in Australia then 2 in Ireland) we applied for a 12 month relationship visa. Having been in a relationship for over a year at the time but only been living together 9 months meant we applied too early but it was all we could do to be together. Immi informed up that there it up to 9 months waiting just to get a case officer :/. so to put it short we wait 9 months with a 95% chance of being declined :(.

So here I am almost 7 months later still unemployed and having heard nothing from Immigration about my visa application, however immensley happy about the fact I dont have to go to that horrible office everyday and im still in Sydney with Matt. Although in saying that im extremely bored and my brain has started to slow down due to non activity. Main reason for starting a blog.

On a happy note Matt insisted we took the last of our savings and continued with our holiday to Europe where he popped the question in the terrace area of a Parisian Cafe. :)